Monday, March 27, 2017

Spring note

Sungazing  is a crisis of common sense.

In a few hours time I had brought my eys to such a pass that I could look upon no bright object with either eye but I saw the sun before me, so that I durst neither write nor read but to recover the use of my eyes shut myself up in my chamber made dark for three days together & used all means to divert my imagination from the Sun. For if I thought upon him I presently saw his picture though I was in the dark. … For some months after the spectrum of the sun began to return as often as I began to meditate upon the phænomenon, even tho I lay in bed at midnight with my curtains drawn. But now I have been very well for many years, tho I am apt to think that if I durst venture my eyes I could still make the phantasm return by the power of my fansy.

If you are able to look directly into the sun..... it's actually black! So crazy! Because I sunbathe a lot as well as sun gaze... then one day I noticed that the longer I stared directly into the sun, the darker it became. Then it was totally black and there was another sun Behind it!!! It was a pinkish color and some blue. But mostly the sun is black.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Beautiful male note

I'm confident she'll think her name is Linda for a while after all the "Que lindas"("how beautiful" in Spanish or Portuguese) she got everyday. South America has been a real joy to travel with a baby and so easy too. Everyone has been so accommodating and helpful (so what's stopping you baby holders?!). It will be disappointing to be treated like normal people again now that we are back in London. No more preferential lines or queue jumping for us. Oh well, it' was fun while it lasted.

from some travel found on last page of phonebook

Friday, February 24, 2017


These may seem like small things, but isn't it the small things that make up a persons character. He has never stopped supporting me, and encouraging me. He tells me I'm beautiful and when we're together (or apart, really) I know I'm the only person he sees. He believes in me and loves me in a way I have never known. He understands and celebrates my desire to be the best mom I can, and yet never forgets that I am also a woman. No matter how challenging or intimidating the trial ahead he lets me know that I am more than capable of defeating it. He doesn't fix my problems for me, but rather he lets me know I'm strong enough to solve them...but he's there. I know that when I buckle, because the pain is just too much to bear, he will pick me up and and carry me until my strength returns. For crying out loud he gives me his BACON! Now if that isn't love I don't know what is so... 

Monday, February 6, 2017

Love is

You see there's this guy...and he loves me...but more importantly he wants me to love myself. He appreciates and embraces me just as I am. Together we laugh . He likes that I order real food, and sometimes spill, trip, get lost, miss a turn, or even have feelings. He supports me in everything. When we first started dating we had all those "first time conversations." What's your favorite music, movie, hobby, etc. I told him about how I'd always wanted to be a writer...a real writer.
He asked me, "Well, do you write?"
"Yes, some. When I have time." I replied.
"Then doesn't that make you a writer?" He posed.
"I mean a real writer, a paid writer."
" So write me a poem, and I'll pay you for it. Then you won't doubt that you're a writer."
(I never took him up on it.)
I also told him about how I wanted to learn french, so for some time he would send me messages in french (using google translate), because If I didn't practice it I'd never learn.